Lacey Sturm's Suicidal Thoughts Lingered After Christianity; 'We Look Down on Somebody Because They Can't Get Healed'

Lacey Sturm

Former Flyleaf singer Lacey Sturm chatted with Bad Christian Podcast about some of the themes of her book "The Reason" and explained how her life was filled with nothing but despair.

She said in a nutshell, the beginning of her book is about living through hating people and becoming an atheist. She stopped believing in God once her three-year-old cousin was beaten to death by his stepfather.

"I remember thinking...there's probably no such thing as God. I thought God loved kids. How could he let that happen?" she shared. "Why am I alive and he's not?"

It was then that she became kind of fixated on death and suffering, which is something that still lingers she admitted. "It was important to stay close to death" for her cousin she used to justify to herself.

Sturm described her hatred for Christians because she felt they were "ignorant" to real things that were happening. She did not understand how they would constantly push faith or belief when so much wrong was going on all around.

The singer tried to mask how she felt with drugs and relationships. "I would make my morals as I went."

In her book it is well documented that she became saved the day she would take her own life. An encounter in church is what turned her life around, which in turn also saved her soul.

However, those desires of suicide did not leave her once she became a Christian. In fact, they did not really go away until she got married.

The struggle occurred "Even more sometimes," but she would find solidarity by writing "Your life is not your own, you're bought with a price" on her wrist.

Sturm also said she does not feel it is most important for Christians to be happy. "I think that there is a good melancholy that maybe is godly. Jesus was a man of sorrows, and I think there is some people who have their weeping profits and that's okay."

BCP co-host and Emery frontman, Toby Morrell feels Christians are scared to be depressed because they believe it is not allowed. "I'm a Christian and I struggle with depression, or sin, and it's ongoing. It should be a thing were Jesus is so strong he fixes it immediately, but that is not how everything works."

He continued, by saying people think by reciting the sinner's prayer they are saved and not going to sin anymore. It is then that people hide their sin in shame.

"What it really shows is that you always need a Savior your entire life from day zero to the last day you live on this Earth."

Then referring to emotional scars, depression, abuse, Sturm chimed in, "We look down on somebody because they can't get healed." What she mean is that sometimes Christians are not sensitive enough to the fact that Jesus does not always work immediately and it may take sometime.

Bad Christian
(Photo : Facebook: Bad Christian)

What do you think? Should Christians be depressed, or is it something that is maybe lacking in their faith? Do Christians sometimes push people struggling in their faith too far? Sound off in the comments.

Yesterday, BC covered another part of Sturm's interview where she spoke on receiving opposition from churches for being in a rock band that played in bars. Sturm said the ministry aspect of the band was lost of people who were overly conservative. Read about it here.

Stay tuned for more on Sturm's interview, and check out the bad Christian podcast here.